tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-87707047112372851052023-11-15T05:03:00.384-08:00...dance with me. i'll play a song that will never ever end.Klaus Alexishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17087757801451693627noreply@blogger.comBlogger45125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770704711237285105.post-15093447460867048562014-12-13T22:07:00.001-08:002014-12-13T22:07:10.131-08:00You can feel it. You try to ignore it. But you know you feel it.<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">That feeling that you know someone doesn't love you.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">No matter what words they say, you just know it.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">They don't love you like you love them.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Knowing it yet ignoring it.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">And when you finally acknowledge it, your whole world crumbles.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">You cry you heart out. And it isn't enough.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Yet when you try to pull away, you can't. It hurts even more.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">You know you should but it is so devastating that you lose the strength to even stand up.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Your knees are shaking, you try to feel but you feel nothing.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">You try to pull yourself together, literally.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Yet you crumble.<br />You sit down, feeling helpless.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Feeling empty.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Feeling hurt.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Why does life do this to you?, you asked.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Yet you realize there are other people who maybe having a worse time than you.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Yet you feel selfish to ask that question.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Because you don't care about them at that moment.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">You're selfish to think only about yourself.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Your feelings. You're hurt. You can't find comfort in his words.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Every time you remember it, tears fall down your face.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">You just felt like you're alone.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Alone. A word that is usually used in the English language yet it terrifies you.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">You are so afraid of being alone because you already experienced how it feels not to be.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">You're so accustomed to the feeling of company that you forgot how it is to be alone.</span>Klaus Alexishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17087757801451693627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770704711237285105.post-9969875114919621712014-08-09T05:50:00.001-07:002014-08-09T05:50:40.838-07:002.5 weeks<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">You will never know.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Never know about this.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Because I will keep it from you.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Because in the end, you won't understand.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Because in the end, you won't care.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Because in the end, it will be the end.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">I've been here before.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Yet I chose to come back.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Even though I know how much pain it would cause me.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">How many tears have been shed before.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">How many silent screams I have screamed before.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Because I believed.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">I believed that there will be a time that you will accept.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">And I risked this pain for that elusive happiness.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Happiness that I know, deep in my heart, not for me.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Happiness that I will not experience. Not from you.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">But I still believed.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">I hope that someday, someone's gonna pull me away from here.</span>Klaus Alexishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17087757801451693627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770704711237285105.post-58671544178298686772014-06-08T07:24:00.000-07:002014-06-08T07:24:51.734-07:00Emotionally unstable.<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Maybe that is how I feel right now.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Stupid relapse.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Maybe I am still not there.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Maybe I just took a detour.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Maybe I am going down this road again.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">I feel like I should stop this now.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">I feel like I've hurt too much already.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">I feel like I've done too much.</span><br />
<br />Klaus Alexishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17087757801451693627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770704711237285105.post-35418654446600946982013-12-19T14:34:00.001-08:002013-12-19T14:34:28.761-08:00No Christmas Spirit for me.<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">It has been another year of ups and downs. I don't know if it is mostly ups or mostly downs, this is maybe due to the fact that at the end of this year, I am lonely.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">One year has passed, same mistake and same frustrations and sadness I felt. Same holiday, same event, same feeling. That feeling of being unreciprocated. That feeling of knowing that someone you love will never love you back the same way. That feeling of knowing that he is holding the hands of another. Knowing that you will never be together. Knowing all these things. And him not knowing.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">For those times that we had together, those times that you comforted me, made me feel loved, happy and elated, I don't know if I wanted to thank you for that. They said that it was better to love than not to have love at all. I don't know what to feel. I just feel pain now that this is happening, I just want to get out of here, go to a place far away from here, start anew and hope that maybe the next time we see each other, we'd still be friends. You don't know or pretend to not know what I feel, I guess that is for the better.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Gusto kong magalit, pero di ko kaya. Gusto kong umiyak, pero kulang ang mga luha. Ang sakit lang, hindi ko alam na magkakaganito, sana mas natuto ako na wala talagang patutunguhan ang ganitong klase ng relasyon. Ako naman ang nagsimula nito, hindi ko alam na ganito pala kasakit. Sana hindi ko na lang itinuloy, para walang nangyari, para walang sakitang naganap, at baka mas naging masaya ako. Hindi ko alam kung ano bang meron sakin. Hindi ko na talaga ito gagawin ulit. Masyado lang siyang masakit. Ibababad ko na lang ang sarili sa trabaho para makalimutan lahat. Kahit walang closure, kakayanin ko 'to. Nakakainis na feeling ko umasa ako kahit na alam ko kung anong pinapasok ko, kahit alam kong ganito ang mangyayari, thinking na baka magbago ka. Sana maging masaya kayo. I really want that to happen, kahit na masakit para sakin. Ganito ako, mas gusto ko nang masaktan nang mag-isa kaysa idamay pa kita.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Akala ko lang talaga na wala na kayo. Akala ko na kaya itong ipush pero hindi e. Mukhang lesson na ito para sakin. Bahala na. Kung kailangan mo ng kausap, kahit ano, lagi lang akong nandito para sayo. Alam mo yan.</span>Klaus Alexishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17087757801451693627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770704711237285105.post-91712244381253546792013-09-09T21:32:00.002-07:002013-09-09T21:32:45.168-07:00I know I should be over all the butterflies.<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Yes. I should be over all the butterflies. I don't know why. I am still here. I know I should let go. But I am still here. The thing is there are times that we thought we are already done with it but it comes back to us when we least expect it.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 16px;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">How do you leave the past behind</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 16px;">When it keeps finding ways to get to your heart?</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 16px;">It reaches way down deep and tears you inside out</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 16px;">'Til you're torn apart</span></span><span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: proxnov-reg, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 16px;"><br /></span><div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 16px;">It is disheartening that whenever you're trying to move on, you just can't. But you know that you have to, unless you are so suicidal.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 16px;">It is so sad when you thought you already have it but you don't. It is just an illusion of yours that you got it.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><span style="line-height: 16px;">Some things are elusive. It is just unreachable. You just have to let go and move on.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><span style="line-height: 16px;">But moving on is easier said than done. We use other means to do it and in the end we are the one suffering.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><span style="line-height: 16px;">In the end, it is not just us who suffer but also those were involved in the process.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><span style="line-height: 16px;">I wish there was a painless way of forgetting someone and moving on. Because it eats you inside out and leave you empty.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><span style="line-height: 16px;">Sometimes, I wish to just turn it off but then again, knowing me, I challenge myself to do the opposite thing.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><span style="line-height: 16px;">And the vicious cycle begins. It is always me who end up losing the fight. I am the last one crying. I am, in the end, the sad sore loser.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><span style="line-height: 16px;">These are the words I would like to say to you.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><span style="line-height: 16px;">I hate that I love you. I do not know if it is love, maybe like, whatsoever. I wish to just turn off. For good.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><span style="line-height: 16px;">But I know that if I turn off, I won't be the same again. I won't be like myself. I won't be who I want to be.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><span style="line-height: 16px;">Moving on, as I always say, is a long painful process. I have already been there. I have overcome it. But every time it happens, it felt like it's something new. It surprises me. It kills me again. With the same intensity, if not more. I have talked to a lot of people and been there for them while moving on. But you just can't say, "It's gonna be alright, I've been there." Yes, you've been there, but you don't feel what they feel trying to move on and still trying. It's so sad. It's a place where you might find sleep and still yearn for more. You wish that the load should just come off but it doesn't. It weighs you down. Real bad. I hate to say this but moving on is a feeling you don't wanna feel. Even though after you moved on, it is like the lightest feeling. Looking back would be just a joke but the moment you are trying to move on and you can't, it is the feeling I dread the most.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><span style="line-height: 16px;">This is how I cope with what I am feeling today. I wish I could talk to you about this but I can't. See. I am sad.</span></span></div>
Klaus Alexishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17087757801451693627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770704711237285105.post-2061225363844190012013-08-28T07:09:00.001-07:002013-08-28T07:09:09.283-07:00Death<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; line-height: 18px;">βIt is a curious thing, the death of a loved one. We all know that our time in this world is limited, and that eventually all of us will end up underneath some sheet, never to wake up. And yet it is always a surprise when it happens to someone we know. It is like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark, and thinking there is one more stair than there is. Your foot falls down, through the air, and there is a sickly moment of dark surprise as you try and readjust the way you thought of things.β </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #181818; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; line-height: 18px;">β </span><a href="http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/36746.Lemony_Snicket" style="background-color: white; color: #666600; line-height: 18px; text-decoration: none;">Lemony Snicket</a><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; line-height: 18px;">, </span><i style="background-color: white; color: #181818; line-height: 18px;"><a href="http://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/77898" style="color: #666600; text-decoration: none;">Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid</a></i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Yeah. Maybe this is a late post. This post is tribute to my grandmother.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">I was not there when she had her last breath. But she will forever live in me.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Her cooking will be my inspiration. She will be my inspiration.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">The feeling of having someone you know died is just inexplicable I tried to hide my tears for a couple of times. A lot of times actually. But they would just fall randomly. Even during my jeepney trips around the school. I will never forget that time when I received the news.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">I just came from a dinner date with my friends. I missed them so we owe to each other that date. But then, as we went home, I received a text. I knew my eyes were swelling and my tears are about to fall. As much as I could, I tried to stop them. I am in the middle of the road, for Pete's sake! But emotions have this way of doing things, the more you suppress them, the more intense they become. I walked to my things, got them and went home. As I walked, I cried. I know I have lots of things to think about, my exam in Physics, my acads. I ended up distracting myself with series and slept it off.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">The morning after, I thought I was over the butterflies. But I'm still here.</span>Klaus Alexishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17087757801451693627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770704711237285105.post-16555195882931408762013-08-09T19:02:00.000-07:002013-08-09T19:02:14.263-07:00It is not the same as before.<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Yeah. It is not the same. Things changed. I changed. You changed.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">I left you there. I should've been there. I left you. Hanging.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">We were going somewhere, but I left you.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">I don't know if it was worth it but I guess it is.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">I want to know you better. I don't know how to do that though.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">History is a snake. It changes perspective.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">I wanna come back. But you won't let me.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">You let go. And now, I am left. Just like how I left you. Hanging.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">I might have burned the bridge but I am making one again.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">And I know that it is hard, but please help me.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Don't break the bridge I am making.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Don't ignore me. Because I want us to be friends.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">The way that we used to be.</span>Klaus Alexishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17087757801451693627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770704711237285105.post-87452919272467665952013-05-08T07:43:00.000-07:002013-05-08T07:43:57.817-07:00Okay.<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">I don't know what to write though. I just want to write. HAHA. Wala lang. Parang antagal ko na ring hindi nagsusulat. Nakakamiss pa minsan minsan. May mga bagay ka na gusto mong sabihin, kaya dito mo na lang isusulat.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Hindi ko na talaga maintindihan ang sarili ko. Kung bakit ang weird ko. Ayoko na nga pero go lang pa rin. ANO NA. Pwedeng itigil na sana to. Hayyy.</span>Klaus Alexishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17087757801451693627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770704711237285105.post-91115897415541409262012-12-07T20:05:00.001-08:002012-12-07T20:05:39.104-08:00I'm a mess.<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Yes I am.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">It starts to pile up. The stress. I wish for this to be over now.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">I might not take it anymore. I might breakdown.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">I don't know what to do. People often ask me for advice and I do give them those,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">But now, I just need another of myself to tell me what to do.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Because I don't really know. This stresses me a lot.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">I know I want to be happy. I know I can choose. But how come I am still on this path?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">I don't regret the things I did before, but there are things that I regret doing.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">I am sad. I have no one to talk to. I have my best friend but he has a lot to think about.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">I don't want to add to his worry and problems. I feel really down.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Yes I might be smiling when you see me, but behind that mask, you can't even imagine what am I going through.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">I just want to cry. A lot harder. I want to be free- of all these things- the feelings, stress, and everything else.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">I want a simple life. Just a happy one.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">This storm's gonna be a lot stronger and a lot longer. I just need to hold on. Let me hold on.</span>Klaus Alexishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17087757801451693627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770704711237285105.post-71295233724527451812012-11-28T20:32:00.001-08:002012-11-28T20:32:41.338-08:00I just have to let it out.<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">I don't know. I am sad. I know why. But I don't want to tell you. It might just get worse.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">I know that I have my limits. And I crossed line I should not. I am sorry.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">This is the thing I can say. With all my heart. I am sorry,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">I have caused you so much. It caused me so much pain.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">I have burdened you. I don't know if you deserve me.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Yeah, maybe I have helped you before, but that is nothing compared to what I am doing now.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">I am bad. I am sad. I don't know what to do.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">I am selfish. I was too comfortable. I thought it would be okay.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">I didn't know what you feel. I think I subconsciously didn't care.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">But you know how I feel. I care for you. Maybe, just too much.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">I am sorry I have been selfish. I only thought of myself. I didn't think of you and your responsibilities, even though you are bluntly telling me that.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">I am sorry. I don't know if I even deserve your forgiveness but I am still asking for it. I am a hypocrite. I know.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">I wish this will pass. And we can be the same again. Like before. Because of all the people in this world, you are one of those I believed in.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">You are one of the most important people in my life. I think I have said it a lot of times. I can only be myself when I am with you. I have no other friend like you. But now, I wish this friendship will last. Forever. I don't know if I can bear it but thinking of it, it makes me cry. A lot. You're the only person I can trust with all my secrets, feelings, emotions and experiences. I wish that you're the same with me. I am so sad right now. I may have lied to you but it is because I don't want to burden you, especially this time. I want to be there who will support you and push you further and help you reach your goals. I am your friend.</span>Klaus Alexishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17087757801451693627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770704711237285105.post-29364848959111537132012-11-14T07:34:00.000-08:002012-11-14T07:57:16.600-08:00Ewan. Labas lang ng feels. Lol.<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">So yeah. Ganun pa rin. Magdedelete na ako ng mga posts. Ayuuuuun. Iba na ngayon. HOHO.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">My clinginess pa rin ang topic. So yeah.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Habang naglalakad ako pauwi, iniisip ko kung bakit ako clingy. And of course, I had a realization.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Yeah. Tinatamad na ako sobra mag-explain. Basta, yun. :(((</span>Klaus Alexishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17087757801451693627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770704711237285105.post-57648919818129414162012-10-06T01:48:00.000-07:002012-10-06T01:48:00.441-07:00Hay.<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Naiiyak na lang ako lagi. Nakakaasar na. Hay. Feeling ko tuloy nasa depressed na naman ako. Medyo stable pa naman kaya okay lang. Pero still. Bwisit.</span><div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">I wish na kaya kong umalis sa state na to. Gusto ko yung chill lang. Walang pakialam sa mundo. Bwisit na feelings yan. Nagpapasaya tapos nagpapalungkot rin naman. GAH. Seriously, Hindi ko na alam kung anong gagawin. Ang plan ko mukhang di ko kayang iexecute nang maayos. Nakakaaasar. ACADS. Sana meron na lang akong happiness potion na lagi kong iinumin and stuff. Or para hindi na kailangang uminom, sana naggegenerate na lang ako ng happiness. Ganun na lang sana lagi. Ayoko ng feeling na ganito. Yung doubt na to is killing me. Hay. Gusto ko umiyak tapos after umiyak sana okay na ang lahat pero hindi e.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Gusto ko lang magrant kasi hindi ko na alam kung saan ako maglalagay ng feelings. Nakakabwisit.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Ayoko rin pala nung nature ko. Ewan, Masyado akong clingy. And I expect people to be clingy too. Hayyy. Nakakapagod na. Ako yung nasasaktan kasi ako yung clingy. Ako yung needy. Ako yung dependent. Ako yung mas masasaktan. Kasi wala naman e.</span></div>
Klaus Alexishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17087757801451693627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770704711237285105.post-51364030557228125402012-09-30T10:00:00.001-07:002012-09-30T10:00:41.361-07:00T_T<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Crying. Again. Stupiddddd. >:(</span>Klaus Alexishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17087757801451693627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770704711237285105.post-63480080158962014082012-09-28T22:05:00.001-07:002012-09-28T22:05:03.589-07:00I don't know.<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">These stuff are killing meeeee. :<</span>Klaus Alexishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17087757801451693627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770704711237285105.post-14575520641109217802012-09-28T07:03:00.000-07:002012-09-28T07:03:03.116-07:00KMN<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">>.<</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Hayyyyyy. Kill me nao please. Medyo kailangan ko ng SUPER MARAMING willpower at self-control para matapos ito.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Magbabago na ako. HAYYYYY. Nakakaasar. Looking back, super unworthy ako ng mga stuff. Ewan. Nakakainis. Parang ang feeling ko nagbago na ako. Pero for the worse. :((((( T_____________T nakakainis. HAY. Stress in life. Naiiyak nako.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Anyway, umiyak ako kaninang umaga. T_T parang narealize ko yung bigat ng lahat ng mga stuff for next week. Parang di ko kaya yung feeling. Nakakainis. WHYYYY</span>Klaus Alexishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17087757801451693627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770704711237285105.post-60020694763929841932012-09-12T08:45:00.000-07:002012-09-12T08:45:59.584-07:00Nganga.<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Reading about other people's lives made me think about mine. Do I really like this course? :O</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Anyway, it really made me think *even just for a second* if I really like this course. I am like, I have no choice. But I do. But I don't know. I think I really like this course and I don't know. Mkay. Lost person here.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Another thing is that I also want to pursue cooking. Like gourmet cooking. Learning different techniques and stuff like that. Even being a chocolatier had once been a dream of mine. I don't know. But I want to pursue geology, too. I wish my life would be longer to do all these things. Hay. Anywayyy, I just shared some of my dreams with you tonight. :))</span>Klaus Alexishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17087757801451693627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770704711237285105.post-46812174780227063992012-09-06T16:29:00.001-07:002012-09-06T16:29:17.014-07:00Bad dayKlaus Alexishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17087757801451693627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770704711237285105.post-68089893518990967062012-09-06T15:58:00.000-07:002012-09-06T15:58:51.927-07:00Morning Crisis<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">I just want to say, I don't create interesting posts. I just want to blog just to let out what I feel. I felt like telling the world what I feel can somehow release some of the burden that I feel. I know it is selfish for me to tell you my problems but you have the choice to read it or not. <- These lines are weird.</span><div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">This week has been very fun and weird for me. Migraine always coming. I feel like I always don't have enough time to sleep. I feel like I always have requirements and stuff to finish.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">I just want to say that I love this week because even though this week is tiring for me, it has been somehow kind to me. Or not. I don't know. I always feel like this. Uncertain about stuff. Always holding back. Always being reserved. Always unsure.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Reading this post may be very weird and stuff. I don't know how to organize my thoughts. It's always all over the place. Always kalat. Always.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">I just want to blog what I feel but after some time I just want to delete posts or anything. Okay weird post right here. YAY.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Maybe some other time. Maybe. Or not. Most probably yeah. But whatever.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">What I wish is to talk to my best friend. He is just the one who I can talk about everything. Everything.</span></div>
Klaus Alexishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17087757801451693627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770704711237285105.post-21400254463600073242012-08-10T07:13:00.001-07:002012-08-10T07:13:19.806-07:00Clingy.<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Super labo ng post na to. Don't read. It's not organized or whatever.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Why am I clingy? It brought me to a verrrrry new situation. It brought me into a situation I never want to be in. But why am I still clingy? Here are my thoughts:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">I think I am clingy because I want to feel loved. Physical display of affections always works on me. I lean on people's shoulders, I cry on them, I hug a lot. I hold people's hands. Even intertwined my fingers with theirs. Just to feel loved. I also kiss people. :D HOHO. On rare occasions. Hay.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Now that the rain has separated me from the people I usually hug/hold hands with/kiss are far from me. I feel not loved. Then I become the texter/fb-er/twitter-er/blogger. Hayyy. That is why I am sad. I am lonely. I want to feel loved. :( And now, I feel like I am alone. HAHAHA</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Maybe I am like this because I am used to be hugged/kissed/clingy-ed by everyone. Or maybe I just want to feel like it. But I am clingy. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">I just created this post because I have no one to talk to the whole day today. I just want to let it out. I want to tell the world to that I want to be hugged. That is why I hug people. I want them to feel loved. But seldom I get hugs. I know that they are not clingy like me, that is why I understand. I just want people to hug me. :((((((((</span>Klaus Alexishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17087757801451693627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770704711237285105.post-49728553794869548062012-08-05T15:22:00.002-07:002012-08-05T15:32:02.011-07:00Repost. Gusto mo ng Realizations?<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Hindi mo palagi nakukuha ang gusto mo. Pero hindi mo kailangan maging malungkot dahil hindi mo nakukuha ang gusto mo. Nasa iyo naman kung gusto mo maging masaya eh. Hindi lang naman ang gusto mo ang magpapasaya sa iyo. Minsan, nakakalimutan lang natin ang mga simpleng bagay na nagpapaligaya sa atin. Kapag na wala na lang sila, saka natin nakikita kung gaano kaimportante ang mga iyon sa buhay natin. Huwag gaanong pagtuunan ng pansin ang mga problema. Masasagot din sila, maghintay ka lang. At ang mga hindi mo makuha? Naging masaya ka naman nang wala ang mga iyon, hindi ba? Pwes, kaya mo ring maging masaya ulit kahit na wala ang mga iyon.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">At ang mga kaibigan, importante ang mga iyan. Huwag mo silang talikuran o pagisipan ng masama. Kung may ginawa man silang hindi mo ikinatuwa, hindi naman nila siguro intensyon na saktan ka. Kung ganoon nga ang intensyon nila, hindi mo talaga sila dapat na ituring na kaibigan. Kung pinagiisipan mo naman sila ng masama, anong klaseng kaibigan ka? Hindi mo sila pinagkakatiwalaan pero sila pinagkakatiwalaan ka? Masama kang kaibigan kung ganoon.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">At ang pinaka importante siguro ay kaya mong gawin ang lahat. Nasa sa iyo lang kung gagawin mo o hindi. Ikaw ang bahala sa buhay mo. Tandaan mo lang din na "It is our choices, not our traits, that make us who we are.". Kaya ang payo ko sayo, huwag kang matakot. What does not kill us, makes us stronger. After all, we learn from our mistakes. Kapag palagi tayong nagkakamali, marami tayong matututunan at magagamit natin iyon sa ibang bagay. Experience is the best teacher. At kung masakit man ang iyong pagkakamali, huwag kang mawawalan ng pag-asa. Dahil kapag wala nang pagasa, hindi natin alam kung may bagyo.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">NGEEE!!!!!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Ang korny ko. Mamatay na lahat ng korny.</span>Klaus Alexishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17087757801451693627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770704711237285105.post-87208916934799777512012-08-05T15:07:00.000-07:002012-08-05T15:32:41.463-07:00Believe.<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">One thing I pride myself is that I believe. I believe in people. Not everyone, of course. But yes. Anyway, I believe that people can reach anything. I don't know. Just put effort into it and I believe you can reach it. Maybe I am influenced by my friend, but I saw it work one time. From that time, I believed we are capable of doing things. We are capable of achieving higher goals. It just that we don't put ENOUGH effort into it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Anyway, this is the event that I think was one of the turning points in my life.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">It was the last quarter of my last high school. I was flunking in Math. I know that I can flunk one of the subjects because I can still graduate with that grade. But I wanted to graduate without failing grades. It is just what I like. I am not used to flunk subjects even though I hate them. So, my teacher gave us our pre-final grade, I was 5.0 or 4.0, I can't remember. I needed 6 points to get a 3.00, but 3.00 is not passing in our grading system. I need to get 2.50. And when I look if how much points in the last periodic exam I need to get, I was shocked. I believed back then that it was impossible. But then, I knew I don't want to graduate with failing grades. I knew I have to get that 2.50. No matter how impossible it may seem. So the night before the exam, I reviewed. I only reviewed Math (We have exams on 2 other subjects that same day). I solved and re-solved all the long exams that we had. I had facebook on my side but it was "touched" for a couple of times. I slept early that night. I rested. Then the next day happened. Then that afternoon, the results were out. I did it. It was something. I was happy. From then on, I knew I can do it. I still know I can. I believe. And I believe in others, too.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">*This is maybe how I get that high self-esteem,*</span>Klaus Alexishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17087757801451693627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770704711237285105.post-41476212654225620472012-08-05T14:48:00.000-07:002012-08-05T14:48:35.352-07:00Panic.<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">I hate making sad posts. I don't know if this one's gonna be sad.</span><div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Anyway, I love how people trust me. I don't know. I felt like I am needed. Maybe I just want to feel needed. Or I need to feel needed. If that is the case, it is sad. I am not like this before. Before, I don't give a shit about what people think about me. I don't give a shit about what they think about at all. But now, things have changed. I think before I do something. Before I say something. Before anything. And sometimes, I feel like I am ran by the opinions of other people. I always say, damn the norms of the society. But I am a hypocrite. I give a damn about those norms. I live by their rules. I live by how they want me to live. And I am sad to realize this. I am sad because somehow, I don't have freedom. I am chained and contained in a box called society. And I don't know how to get out. I need to get out. Or not. Maybe I like to be contained. Maybe I like how comfy it is to be in here. Or maybe I am the one who chained and locked myself in here. Life is full of choices. These choices define our life. These choices makes us who we are. These define us.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Oh well. Life is unfair. It will never be fair. So we have to conform to life and get the best out of it.</span></div>Klaus Alexishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17087757801451693627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770704711237285105.post-88101657568592134462012-07-28T20:14:00.001-07:002012-07-28T20:14:39.751-07:00Answer me.<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">I like how I can get my feelings out here. I don't know. I can't tell it but letting it out here for everyone to read is awesome. Maybe it's full of grammatical errors but at least I expressed myself. At least I am not keeping it inside. At least I am not suppressing all these emotions. Hayyy. I wanna sleep. But I also want to learn. I want to be myself. I want to do a lot of things in my life. I don't know what to do first. It's like I am already in my legal age and I feel like I didn't fully maximized my childhood. I don't know what am I blogging about. Loool. But anyway, I am receiving more pageviews and I am thinking, why would anyone read my blog? Looking at my older posts, they are not really interesting or anything. I don't know. I would like to ask anyone who really reads my blog. Why? Why do you read it? Is it because you just randomly ended up with it? Or maybe, you like to bash it because of all the errors it has? Or whatever. I wanna hear whyyy. I would assume that if I don't get any comments here, maybe your just randomly got into my page, and my pageviews are a lieeee. :))</span>Klaus Alexishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17087757801451693627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770704711237285105.post-78697728635785022452012-07-22T19:10:00.000-07:002012-07-22T19:10:15.683-07:00Hey yo.<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">I am here. Sitting. YAY.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Anyway, I don't know. I don't want to be part of your problems. I want to be there for you. I have seen you cry for so many times. Tears that I believe you shouldn't be shedding. But still, out of the goodness of your heart, you are still shedding. I don't want to be part of those who you cry for, those who gave you those tears. I want to make you cry, cry because of happiness. Sadly, I don't know how to do that with this kind of stuff I am going through.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Hey. I will stop whining. I will be there for you. I won't mind what I am going through because yours needed more attention than mine. I want to be your brother forever. So, I'll just suck it up and go on with my life. No matter what, I will always be here for you. NO MATTER WHAT,</span>Klaus Alexishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17087757801451693627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8770704711237285105.post-21600611266710296902012-07-21T09:36:00.000-07:002012-07-21T09:36:09.439-07:00I don't know.<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Ginaya ko lang yung kapatid ko nung sinabi niyang I feel like blogging again.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">I don't know. I somehow felt like blogging too. Maybe most of you who read this page doesn't know me or something. I don't know. But I just want to share what am I thinking. Lalala. I know this post is so weird like all the other posts but whatever. You can leave this page whenever you want. But I am here typing, not knowing what to do, what to type and stuff.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">My head hurts. Yes. I hate it but it hurts. Anyway, for the past few days or weeks, I have been busy, busy trying to get my life busy. I procrastinate a lot and I hate it when I do it. But I don't know. I like procrastinating, except after procrastinating. I feel like I am just cheating myself (worst kind of cheating) for not doing things now. Anyway, I felt productivity kanina and I am happy with it. I am so weird. :))</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Oh well, I don't want to talk about my problems here because someone might read it and it might spread and reach the other side. Better be careful. And paranoid.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">I want to sleep but I want to read and fly. Why can't I have powers of levitatiooooon. I want it please.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Oh. I am just gonna talk about what happened some time last last week. I am happy because someone told me that I was in their innermost circle of friends. It means we're close. I mean I don't know. We have different definitions of friends. But he told me we were close indirectly. This guy is so awesome. He tells you stuff that other people don't bother thinking about. (gr?) We talk about things people don't usually talk about. Some times to the point that the talk is so "bangag" or "sabaw". He also thinks very differently from other people. We used to talk and when his friends saw that we "understand" each other, they were amazed. So weird. Anyway, I am happy to have this different kind of talk. Somehow it became like fresh air. I felt like I relaxed a bit.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Another awesome thing is that my brother stayed at our house for an overnight. Yes, I may be irritated at first because his meeting was so long but it was worth it. He was introduced and stuff went smoothly. He was even invited for another. :)) Anyway, we bonded and I like having him as my brother because he is so awesome and everything else.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Anyway, I had a lot of thoughts that I have shared with you today. So I am gonna leave you there nao.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Sorry wrong grammar and the like.</span>Klaus Alexishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17087757801451693627noreply@blogger.com0