Clingy.

Super labo ng post na to. Don't read. It's not organized or whatever.



Why am I clingy? It brought me to a verrrrry new situation. It brought me into a situation I never want to be in. But why am I still clingy? Here are my thoughts:

I think I am clingy because I want to feel loved. Physical display of affections always works on me. I lean on people's shoulders, I cry on them, I hug a lot. I hold people's hands. Even intertwined my fingers with theirs. Just to feel loved. I also kiss people. :D HOHO. On rare occasions. Hay.

Now that the rain has separated me from the people I usually hug/hold hands with/kiss are far from me. I feel not loved. Then I become the texter/fb-er/twitter-er/blogger. Hayyy. That is why I am sad. I am lonely. I want to feel loved. :( And now, I feel like I am alone. HAHAHA

Maybe I am like this because I am used to be hugged/kissed/clingy-ed by everyone. Or maybe I just want to feel like it. But I am clingy. 



I just created this post because I have no one to talk to the whole day today. I just want to let it out. I want to tell the world to that I want to be hugged. That is why I hug people. I want them to feel loved. But seldom I get hugs. I know that they are not clingy like me, that is why I understand. I just want people to hug me. :((((((((

Repost. Gusto mo ng Realizations?

Hindi mo palagi nakukuha ang gusto mo. Pero hindi mo kailangan maging malungkot dahil hindi mo nakukuha ang gusto mo. Nasa iyo naman kung gusto mo maging masaya eh. Hindi lang naman ang gusto mo ang magpapasaya sa iyo. Minsan, nakakalimutan lang natin ang mga simpleng bagay na nagpapaligaya sa atin. Kapag na wala na lang sila, saka natin nakikita kung gaano kaimportante ang mga iyon sa buhay natin. Huwag gaanong pagtuunan ng pansin ang mga problema. Masasagot din sila, maghintay ka lang. At ang mga hindi mo makuha? Naging masaya ka naman nang wala ang mga iyon, hindi ba? Pwes, kaya mo ring maging masaya ulit kahit na wala ang mga iyon.


At ang mga kaibigan, importante ang mga iyan. Huwag mo silang talikuran o pagisipan ng masama. Kung may ginawa man silang hindi mo ikinatuwa, hindi naman nila siguro intensyon na saktan ka. Kung ganoon nga ang intensyon nila, hindi mo talaga sila dapat na ituring na kaibigan. Kung pinagiisipan mo naman sila ng masama, anong klaseng kaibigan ka? Hindi mo sila pinagkakatiwalaan pero sila pinagkakatiwalaan ka? Masama kang kaibigan kung ganoon.


At ang pinaka importante siguro ay kaya mong gawin ang lahat. Nasa sa iyo lang kung gagawin mo o hindi. Ikaw ang bahala sa buhay mo. Tandaan mo lang din na "It is our choices, not our traits, that make us who we are.". Kaya ang payo ko sayo, huwag kang matakot. What does not kill us, makes us stronger. After all, we learn from our mistakes. Kapag palagi tayong nagkakamali, marami tayong matututunan at magagamit natin iyon sa ibang bagay. Experience is the best teacher. At kung masakit man ang iyong pagkakamali, huwag kang mawawalan ng pag-asa. Dahil kapag wala nang pagasa, hindi natin alam kung may bagyo.
NGEEE!!!!!
Ang korny ko. Mamatay na lahat ng korny.

Believe.

One thing I pride myself is that I believe. I believe in people. Not everyone, of course. But yes. Anyway, I believe that people can reach anything. I don't know. Just put effort into it and I believe you can reach it. Maybe I am influenced by my friend, but I saw it work one time. From that time, I believed we are capable of doing things. We are capable of achieving higher goals. It just that we don't put ENOUGH effort into it.


Anyway, this is the event that I think was one of the turning points in my life.


It was the last quarter of my last high school. I was flunking in Math. I know that I can flunk one of the subjects because I can still graduate with that grade. But I wanted to graduate without failing grades. It is just what I like. I am not used to flunk subjects even though I hate them. So, my teacher gave us our pre-final grade, I was 5.0 or 4.0, I can't remember. I needed 6 points to get a 3.00, but 3.00 is not passing in our grading system. I need to get 2.50. And when I look if how much points in the last periodic exam I need to get, I was shocked. I believed back then that it was impossible. But then, I knew I don't want to graduate with failing grades. I knew I have to get that 2.50. No matter how impossible it may seem. So the night before the exam, I reviewed. I only reviewed Math (We have exams on 2 other subjects that same day). I solved and re-solved all the long exams that we had. I had facebook on my side but it was "touched" for a couple of times. I slept early that night. I rested. Then the next day happened. Then that afternoon, the results were out. I did it. It was something. I was happy. From then on, I knew I can do it. I still know I can. I believe. And I believe in others, too.






*This is maybe how I get that high self-esteem,*

Panic.

I hate making sad posts. I don't know if this one's gonna be sad.

Anyway, I love how people trust me. I don't know. I felt like I am needed. Maybe I just want to feel needed. Or I need to feel needed. If that is the case, it is sad. I am not like this before. Before, I don't give a shit about what people think about me. I don't give a shit about what they think about at all. But now, things have changed. I think before I do something. Before I say something. Before anything. And sometimes, I feel like I am ran by the opinions of other people. I always say, damn the norms of the society. But I am a hypocrite. I give a damn about those norms. I live by their rules. I live by how they want me to live. And I am sad to realize this. I am sad because somehow, I don't have freedom. I am chained and contained in a box called society. And I don't know how to get out. I need to get out. Or not. Maybe I like to be contained. Maybe I like how comfy it is to be in here. Or maybe I am the one who chained and locked myself in here. Life is full of choices. These choices define our life. These choices makes us who we are. These define us.

Oh well. Life is unfair. It will never be fair. So we have to conform to life and get the best out of it.

Answer me.

I like how I can get my feelings out here. I don't know. I can't tell it but letting it out here for everyone to read is awesome. Maybe it's full of grammatical errors but at least I expressed myself. At least I am not keeping it inside. At least I am not suppressing all these emotions. Hayyy. I wanna sleep. But I also want to learn. I want to be myself. I want to do a lot of things in my life. I don't know what to do first. It's like I am already in my legal age and I feel like I didn't fully maximized my childhood. I don't know what am I blogging about. Loool. But anyway, I am receiving more pageviews and I am thinking, why would anyone read my blog? Looking at my older posts, they are not really interesting or anything. I don't know. I would like to ask anyone who really reads my blog. Why? Why do you read it? Is it because you just randomly ended up with it? Or maybe, you like to bash it because of all the errors it has? Or whatever. I wanna hear whyyy. I would assume that if I don't get any comments here, maybe your just randomly got into my page, and my pageviews are a lieeee. :))

Hey yo.

I am here. Sitting. YAY.






Anyway, I don't know. I don't want to be part of your problems. I want to be there for you. I have seen you cry for so many times. Tears that I believe you shouldn't be shedding. But still, out of the goodness of your heart, you are still shedding. I don't want to be part of those who you cry for, those who gave you those tears. I want to make you cry, cry because of happiness. Sadly, I don't know how to do that with this kind of stuff I am going through.


Hey. I will stop whining. I will be there for you. I won't mind what I am going through because yours needed more attention than mine. I want to be your brother forever. So, I'll just suck it up and go on with my life. No matter what, I will always be here for you. NO MATTER WHAT,

I don't know.

Ginaya ko lang yung kapatid ko nung sinabi niyang I feel like blogging again.


I don't know. I somehow felt like blogging too. Maybe most of you who read this page doesn't know me or something. I don't know. But I just want to share what am I thinking. Lalala. I know this post is so weird like all the other posts but whatever. You can leave this page whenever you want. But I am here typing, not knowing what to do, what to type and stuff.


My head hurts. Yes. I hate it but it hurts.  Anyway, for the past few days or weeks, I have been busy, busy trying to get my life busy. I procrastinate a lot and I hate it when I do it. But I don't know. I like procrastinating, except after procrastinating. I feel like I am just cheating myself (worst kind of cheating) for not doing things now. Anyway, I felt productivity kanina and I am happy with it. I am so weird. :))


Oh well, I don't want to talk about my problems here because someone might read it and it might spread and reach the other side. Better be careful. And paranoid.


I want to sleep but I want to read and fly. Why can't I have powers of levitatiooooon. I want it please.




Oh. I am just gonna talk about what happened some time last last week. I am happy because someone told me that I was in their innermost circle of friends. It means we're close. I mean I don't know. We have different definitions of friends. But he told me we were close indirectly. This guy is so awesome. He tells you stuff that other people don't bother thinking about. (gr?) We talk about things people don't usually talk about. Some times to the point that the talk is so "bangag" or "sabaw". He also thinks very differently from other people. We used to talk and when his friends saw that we "understand" each other, they were amazed. So weird. Anyway, I am happy to have this different kind of talk. Somehow it became like fresh air. I felt like I relaxed a bit.


Another awesome thing is that my brother stayed at our house for an overnight. Yes, I may be irritated at first because his meeting was so long but it was worth it. He was introduced and stuff went smoothly. He was even invited for another. :)) Anyway, we bonded and I like having him as my brother because he is so awesome and everything else.


Anyway, I had a lot of thoughts that I have shared with you today. So I am gonna leave you there nao.




Sorry wrong grammar and the like.